The other day I was sitting and just thinking.  Just thinking just thinking
and the world "existential" appeared in my head.  I don't know much about
existentialism, at least not the intellectual/academic side of it.  The only
thing I could think of next was "existential.  exist.  we exist.  i exist."

ok.

However, right now, right this second, I am not so convinced that I actually
exist.

Highway 1 at 1 am.  An invisible coast line to my left.  I must be headed
north.  Pure blackness of the night but I know the ocean is there.  Sometimes
I can see the crests of the waves.  Pure white against black.  Gestalt.

Here is something I never told you.  The night we went to Nykita's beltane
celebration ... as you slept in the back of the car, the speedometer read
100 before I caught myself.  I was so desperate to get home.  I thought of
that tonight as I drove but this time chai from Saturn Cafe fueled me so
my eyes were not heavy.  There was no fog.  The road was clear.

We are all time bombs.